Why I’m Offering Paid Pension Analysis Services

Pension Analysis Services

I made some subtle changes to The Golden Albatross webpage the other day. First, on the home (aka splash) page, I added three paragraphs under a subsection called “Services” that briefly describe the paid pension analysis services I now offer. Those paragraphs also quickly explain why I’m charging for services. Second, I created a permanent page called Pension Analysis Services, where I provide an in-depth explanation of the range of services on offer. I also explain the technicalities of how hiring my services works.

In case you don’t want to click away, here it is.

Since “what I offer” got a web page, I wanted to circle back with an article about “why.” By doing so, I will have a permanent explanation for anyone who asks, nested under the “what I offer” page. More importantly, I want to explain “why” because paying me pension analysis is a marked departure from the original intent for The Golden Albatross website. In all, I provide five solid reasons, which I list below.  Continue reading

Put Your (Pension) Money Where Your (House) Mouth Is

Permanence and Pension Money

Greetings, long-lost readers! It’s been over a year since I published my last post about my return to work to qualify for a New Zealand residence visa. A lot happened over that time, so much so that a separate update is warranted. However, for this article, the easiest thing to say is that my return-to-work plan … worked! My family and I obtained NZ residence based on my employment in April 2023, I transitioned to part-time work in August 2023, and we bought and moved into a house in December 2023. It was a hectic but ultimately successful year, with few setbacks and much growth. As a result, my family and I feel truly blessed when we wake up to the stunning views each morning at our New Zealand home and are comforted by the permanence it provides. Couple that with the financial stability afforded through our monthly defined benefit (DB) pension money, and we are sitting well indeed.

Pension Money

The view from our new back yard.

The remainder of this post is about some of the concepts I put into action to purchase our house and achieve that permanence. As you may have deduced from the play-on-words in my title, the money from my DB pension played, and will continue to play, a key role in making that happen. As such, there are potential lessons to be learned for anyone with a DB pension playing a central role in their retirement who might also wish to purchase a house.

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FIRE in New Zealand: One Thing a Pension Cannot Buy

Here’s an imaginary conversation that’s been playing in my head recently:

      • Almost non-existent long-term reader: “Hey Grumpus, I noticed you haven’t posted any new articles in a while. Is everything OK?”
      • Grumpus: “Thanks for asking, but unfortunately, no, everything is not OK. I’ve been mourning a personal loss.”
      • Almost non-existent long-term reader: “Oh…I’m sorry for your loss. Who are you mourning?”
      • Grumpus:“Not who but what.”
      • Almost non-existent long-term reader: “OK … That’s strange … What are you mourning?”
      • Grumpus:“I’m mourning the death of my defined benefit pension-enabled Financial Independence Retire Early (FIRE) in New Zealand lifestyle. It died in October 2022, when I returned to full-time work.”
      • Almost non-existent long-term reader: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that! However, I’m afraid I must report you to the Internet Retirement Police (IRP) that Mr. Money Mustache talks about.”
      • Grumpus: “I understand. I’m now a FIRE imposter. Tell the IRP that I’ll go willingly.”

(Moments later, as the IRP is dragging a defeated Grumpus into the police van)

      • Grumpus: “My first attempt at a FIRE in New Zealand lifestyle is dead. LONG LIVE MY SECOND FIRE IN NEW ZEALAND LIFESTYLE!”
The End of a Short Era

You read that imaginary conversation correctly. My defined benefit pension-enabled FIRE in New Zealand lifestyle only lasted 1 year, 4 months, & 23 days. By FIRE in New Zealand lifestyle, I mean the time I spent in retirement with no GI Bill-sponsored or other full-time work-related income. During that time, my family and I lived in New Zealand, relying solely on the income from my Department of Defense and Veteran’s Administration (VA) pensions. I must admit, with a small amount of pride, we did an excellent job of staying under those spending limits.

Why, then, did I return to full-time work? I did it because a defined benefit (DB) pension cannot buy a New Zealand residence-class visa. And without a resident visa, an immigrant family like mine cannot FIRE in New Zealand. That’s not to say that money can’t buy residence in New Zealand because it most certainly can through an investor visa. However, in the post-pandemic New Zealand immigration system, that potential visa pathway was moved beyond my family’s ability to achieve. As a result, even though I’m guaranteed to earn the same inflation-protected amount of money each month until the day that I die, it wasn’t enough. I found myself at the uncomfortable crossroads of a return-to-work decision around September 2022. Continue reading

This Is Your Pension On Inflation

What do you think will be the Word of the Year for 2022?

My heart says it should be “Ukraine,” but my head says it will be “inflation.”

If I was a betting man, I’d bet with my head.

To be fair, one of the driving factors of 2022’s inflation is Russia’s illegal and immoral war in Ukraine. Specifically, it is the grain and gas shortages caused by the war and the international sanctions against Russia. However, that’s not the only cause of 2022’s inflation problem. It turns out that inflation’s rise in 2022 is a complicated story, one with many villains and few heroes, which also means it may be sticking around for some time. As a result, it’s an excellent time to analyze the vulnerabilities of a pension without an inflation-fighting mechanism. Continue reading

The Pension Couch: Replacing Pension Income

Back in Action

I’m back with another edition of the Pension Couch. I produce Pension Couch articles from edited and sanitized exchanges with readers who ask me defined benefit (DB) pension questions. It’s a way for me to create posts with useful pension-related information without the additional work required to write one from scratch. In this edition, I answer a reader’s “what if” question about replacing lost pension income by taking a higher-paying non-pensionable job. As a question, it fits well with this blog’s stay-or-go Golden Albatross theme. Therefore, I believe it’s worth your time.

This article’s request came from a reader who I called Kai. He specifically asked how much he’d need to save and invest at a new non-pensionable job to replace lost annual pension income from his current pensionable job… if he decided to leave six years earlier than planned. On the face of it, that’s a straightforward question. The answer, however, required modeling his retirement savings and investment options and then determining if they could replace the potential lost pension income.

Readers ask me some form of the “replacing pension income” question a lot, which tells me two things. First, many readers have contemplated leaving their often lower-salaried pensionable jobs for higher salaried non-pensionable jobs. Second, many readers also understand these scenarios involve trade-offs connected to their pension’s ultimate value in retirement. But, as just mentioned, mathematically modeling these “what if” questions can be complicated. Fortunately, in this article, I demonstrate how to determine if replacing pension income is feasible without resorting to complex math formulas. Instead, I use a free website and free retirement planning software, which you can easily replicate, should you need to answer the same question. Continue reading

The Pension Series (Part 30): Pension Maximization

Pension Maximization

Helping pensionable workers determine the value of their defined benefit (DB) pension to make well-informed Golden Albatross decisions is the raison d’être for this website. Thus, I write most of my articles for pensionable workers trying to determine whether staying for their DB pension is worth it. However, those aren’t the only articles I write. Although much smaller in number, I also publish articles for pensionable workers who decide to stay. If a unifying theme to those articles exists, it’s pension maximization.

What’s pension maximization? In practical terms, pension maximization ensures your pension’s positive impact in retirement is as significant as possible. You maximize your pension by taking active steps during your pensionable career. My Gap Number, Roth vs. Traditional, buying back years, and pension geoarbitrage articles provide examples of actionable steps pensioners can take. That said, unlike my Golden Albatross-themed articles, I never laid out a framework for pension maximization. In other words, after a worker decides to stay, I never answered the simple “now what?” question.

The remainder of this article, and its follow-on, layout my framework for answering “now what?” I call this framework Grumpus Maximization.

Yes, it’s a somewhat cheesy metaphor. But, Grumpus Maximization is a catchphrase designed to stick, much like the Golden Albatross. Who knows? It might even aid future marketing attempts like printing t-shirts with “Got Pension?” on the front and “Get Maximized @ grumpusmaximus.com” on the back …

That’s not helping, is it? Fine, I’ll sidebar the marketing discussion for now. Continue reading

The Pension Series (Part 6): Valuing Pension Subsidized Healthcare (Updated)

A Much-Needed Overhaul

Not every blog post I publish stands the test of time. While I always aim to produce “evergreen” articles, meaning they stand on their merits regardless of age, I don’t always succeed. My original pension subsidized healthcare post was a great example of this shortcoming.

When I published the article, the US’s Affordable Care Act (ACA), also known as Obamacare, appeared on its way to the scrap heap due to domestic US politics. This made estimating the value of healthcare attached to a US-defined benefit (DB) pension even tougher. It also led me to rant about how overly complex and unfair the system was for those going through their Golden Albatross decision. As a result, I concluded that it was an invaluable benefit for those lucky enough to have healthcare attached to their pension, especially if they intended to retire before Medicare eligibility at age 65. Therefore, it should weigh heavily in their Golden Albatross decision.

That was it. I didn’t develop any complex formulas or provide helpful suggestions on accomplishing the seemingly impossible. Nor did I provide many links to others who had tried. So much for value-added, huh?

Absolutely none of that!

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The Pension Couch: Pension Roll-Over Questions

What should pensionable employees who leave their job before normal retirement age (NRA) do with their pension at their former employer? Should they roll the pension over into a self-directed retirement account like an IRA? Or, should they wait until NRA and collect the annuity?

These are simple enough questions, but not ones I ever had to deal with personally since my pension never accrued a value while I worked. That said, there are ways to determine the answers to these questions. But, as with many things connected to pensions, such as the Golden Albatross inflection point, it often involves a mix of math and emotion. It certainly did for one reader who had a pension roll-over question, so I made it the topic of this Pension Couch post.

For those that don’t remember, Pension Couch articles are created from lightly edited and sanitized email/message exchanges in which I answer readers’ pension questions. Names and some details have been sanitized to protect the innocent. Also, don’t forget that I speak in general about pensions throughout this post because every pension plan is different. So, make sure you research your specific plan before taking any action! Continue reading

The Pension Series (Part 28): The Golden Albatross Vs. Age, Tenure, and Gender

To justify studying Golden Albatross (i.e., stay-or-go) pensionable job decisions for my master’s program, I made an argument. I’m not talking about a Facebook or Twitter argument where everyone types in CAPITAL LETTERS and no one changes their mind. I’m talking about an academic argument. That’s right, I moved beyond my typical ranting via the interwebs and masqueraded as a social scientist for a few months. Let me tell ya, white lab coats for hairy knuckle draggers are hard to come by!

age tenure gender

I’ll let you guess which one is me.

My thesis argued that human resources (HR) managers needed to know which pension design elements made their pensionable workers most likely to stay. Reasons they might need to know this included if pension plan re-design was required after a fiscal crisis — like the dot-com crash in the early 2000s. Since the main reason for offering a pension is to create worker retention, I reasoned that pensionable employers would want to avoid cutting design elements that most attracted workers towards staying.

Of course, the argument was hypothetical. I have neither the ear of HR managers anywhere nor the nerve to advocate cutting design elements from pensions. I simply made the argument to convince my advisor and those (un)lucky enough to grade my thesis. However, after collecting and analyzing the results from my pension survey, I was ready to declare ‘Don’t mess with healthcare!’ to any HR manager that would listen.

If you’ve read Pension Series Part 27, then you know why. Survey participants ranked ‘pension subsidized healthcare’ as the design element that made them consider staying at their job the most during their Golden Albatross decision. In fact, the final weighted score for healthcare was ten percentage points higher than the second-place design element, ‘immediate annuity.’ Therefore, the results appeared to support a ‘keep your money grubbing hands off of healthcare’ declaration.

That said, I’m glad I didn’t declare this straight away. As you’re about to find out, age, tenure, and gender are far more powerful elements during a Golden Albatross decision than any singular pension design element — even one as popular as healthcare. Continue reading

The Pension Couch: Early Retirement Penalties

I run a Facebook group for pensioners, pensionable workers, and/or their significant others called Golden Albatross/Golden Handcuffs. The group relies on the wisdom of the crowd to answer members’ pension-related questions and/or discuss pension-related topics. From time to time, the group serves up good topics to write about. For instance, I recently exchanged comments about the early retirement penalties built into their pension with a group member. It didn’t appear that the group member understood the reason for these penalties. As a result, I provided a short explanation as to why they did.

Fortunately, the Facebook exchange reminded me of a more in-depth email exchange I had with a reader a few months ago on the topic of early retirement penalties. Since the email conversation was far better organized (and researched) than my Facebook exchange, it seemed like a good candidate for a Pension Couch post. For those that don’t remember, Pension Couch articles are posts created from lightly edited and sanitized email exchanges in which I answer readers’ pension questions. In this instance, I answer McGruff’s (the crime dog from Public Service Announcements in my childhood) questions about the early retirement penalties built into his/her law enforcement pension plan.

Do early retirement penalties spell death for pensioners’ early retirement hopes?

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