To justify studying Golden Albatross (i.e., stay-or-go) pensionable job decisions for my master’s program, I made an argument. I’m not talking about a Facebook or Twitter argument where everyone types in CAPITAL LETTERS and no one changes their mind. I’m talking about an academic argument. That’s right, I moved beyond my typical ranting via the interwebs and masqueraded as a social scientist for a few months. Let me tell ya, white lab coats for hairy knuckle draggers are hard to come by!

I’ll let you guess which one is me.

My thesis argued that human resources (HR) managers needed to know which pension design elements made their pensionable workers most likely to stay. Reasons they might need to know this included if pension plan re-design was required after a fiscal crisis — like the dot-com crash in the early 2000s. Since the main reason for offering a pension is to create worker retention, I reasoned that pensionable employers would want to avoid cutting design elements that most attracted workers towards staying.

Of course, the argument was hypothetical. I have neither the ear of HR managers anywhere nor the nerve to advocate cutting design elements from pensions. I simply made the argument to convince my advisor and those (un)lucky enough to grade my thesis. However, after collecting and analyzing the results from my pension survey, I was ready to declare ‘Don’t mess with healthcare!’ to any HR manager that would listen.

If you’ve read Pension Series Part 27, then you know why. Survey participants ranked ‘pension subsidized healthcare’ as the design element that made them consider staying at their job the most during their Golden Albatross decision. In fact, the final weighted score for healthcare was ten percentage points higher than the second-place design element, ‘immediate annuity.’ Therefore, the results appeared to support a ‘keep your money grubbing hands off of healthcare’ declaration.

That said, I’m glad I didn’t declare this straight away. As you’re about to find out, age, tenure, and gender are far more powerful elements during a Golden Albatross decision than any singular pension design element — even one as popular as healthcare. Continue reading →