The Death Binder!

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I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. — Winston Churchill

Death Binder

Death and Binders

I did something different this week for work. I deployed to a foreign country for a military exercise. I’m writing this post from that country as a matter of fact. It’s the first time since my Afghanistan tour in 2013 that I’ve deployed abroad with all my gear. It’s also the first time since my financial awakening that I’ve deployed. Granted, I traveled multiple times on official orders since Afghanistan and was also stationed overseas for multiple years. However, except for our Permanent Change of Station (PCS) move from Europe to Hawaii, I consider my travel comparable to business trips. There’s something different about packing up all your combat gear that sharpens the mind. As a result, while not a tour to a combat zone, I used this military exercise as an excuse to build my “Death Binder”.

Just for the record, Mrs. Grumpus hates the term, Death Binder. In fact, she won’t let me call it the Death Binder in the house. Instead, we call it the “Financial Binder” or “Financial Folder”. However, I call it the Death Binder when she’s not around. I do that partly because of my love of heavy metal. There’s something about the term Death Binder that makes me want to throw the devil sign up in the air and bang my head while shouting “DEATH BINDER” in my loudest metal voice.

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Four Golden Albatross Financial Lessons

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A Message to Future You

financial lessons

Four Golden Albatrosses take flight

If you’re reading my articles in chronological order, either in real time or at some undetermined time in the future, you’ll know that my two preceding articles were counter-points to other people’s financial ideas. As much fun as I had writing articles that used macroeconomics to argue against other people’s theories; doing so courts a certain amount of negativity. Granted, the counter-points needed to be made, and I believe I kept the articles congenial, lighthearted, and fact-based. However, at the end of the day, I still argued against someone’s work as opposed to building my own. As a result, I hit the pause button on the Risk Series this week, in order to focus on a more positive message.

Ironically, despite my online negativity I’ve actually been doing some positive stuff in the real world — which just might be the understatement of a lifetime in regards to the internet. Over the past three weeks, I counseled three different military members and/or their spouses on financial issues. Two of those counseling sessions took place face-to-face; while the third took place via email. All of them proved a great experience … for me at least. I learn a lot about myself and other people every time I counsel someone. Whereas I felt like a reluctant financial voyeur during my first counseling session; I actually enjoy them now. Continue reading →

The Golden Albatross Vs. Risk (Part 2): Emergency Fund Debate Club, Round 1

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Debate Club

Pop quiz. What’s the first rule of Debate Club?

Surprisingly, it’s not “do not TALK about DEBATE CLUB!”.

It turns out the first rule of Debate Club is “read all your preparatory material”. Or at least that’s what I presume it is. I based that presumption on memories of my high-school Debate Club friends who spent their free-study hours furiously highlighting reams of printed journal articles they’d found on microfiche in the school library. Yes, I realize I’m dating myself with the microfiche reference.

I know what you’re thinking, and I agree — the Fight Club reference sounds way cooler. Then again, what do I know? I spent the majority of my time in high school cutting weight for the real fight club (the wrestling team). Which, by the way, no one ever talked about … probably because no one ever attended high school wrestling matches (other than parents). While my choice of extracurricular activities may have prepared me well for the lonely life of a blogger with three devoted readers, it probably didn’t prepare me well for a debate on investing the Emergency Fund (EF) against some of the heavy hitters in the Financial Independence (FI) community. Continue reading →

The Golden Albatross vs. Risk (Part 1)

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Doubting Grumpus

I spent a recent weekend and a good part of the following week “engaging” in the main ChooseFI Facebook group on the topic of whether or not it’s a good idea to invest your Emergency Fund (EF). This debate was prompted by ChooseFI Episodes 66 and 66R in which the “Invest Your Emergency Fund” thesis was broached, examined, and positively endorsed by the hosts and their guest. Just to be clear, I argued (congenially, of course) that in general terms, it was a doubtful thesis. More importantly, though, I pointed out (along with several other people) that the framework for the debate was poorly constructed. This was primarily due to a lack of defined terms.

risk

Fund?

For the record, I’m a big fan of the ChooseFI Podcast, and not only because they interviewed me. The hosts, Brad and Jonathan, typically dole out challenging but sound Financial Independence (FI) advice. Although they stooped low to interview me, their guests are also typically top notch. In fact, their guest for the “Invest Your Emergency Fund” episode was Big Ern McCracken. Ern runs the Early Retirement Now blog — of which I’m also a big fan. Ern’s not only a valued member of my Golden Albatross FB group, but we even collaborated on an article for my website. Continue reading →

The Golden Albatross Financial Philosophy

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The Request

Golden Albatross

Professor X enjoying his lunch break.

A few months ago a military member from a mid-career service school approached me through my blog with a request. He’s an instructor, so let’s call him Professor X. One of Professor X’s topics is personal finance as it relates to effective management of one’s career. He’d read my blog and believed several of my articles were appropriate material for his students. As a result, he asked me to speak via video to his class. After we exchanged a few emails on proposed topics, legal conflicts of interest, and technical hurdles; I agreed to appear in uniform as a military member, smart in the ways of finance, but without mention of my blog.

With this scheduled event now only a few days away, I thought it prudent to script my remarks. I also thought it would be worth turning those remarks into a blog post. Since Professor X’s request forced me to distill numerous blog posts into one coherent speech about my financial philosophy, I figured some of my readers might find it useful. As a result, this post doesn’t cover any new territory. It simply synthesizes a lot of what I’ve written previously in one place. Who knows? If I ever write a book, this article might form a good basis for the first chapter.

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Why I Trust My Plan … For Now

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Procrastination Pays Off

Plan

Failure to properly plan …

I’ve had a draft version of this article sitting in my inbox for some time. It never gelled, so I left it alone. However, a blogging friend and mentor of mine, Doug Nordman, recently published an excellent article at his blog The Military Guide entitled “Don’t Buy A Home When You Leave Active Duty“. The article challenged several of my planning assumptions and acted as a catalyst to complete this post.

I consider challenges to my retirement plan a good thing. They force me to re-examine and update it as I gain more knowledge, and as facts on the ground change. As such, this article isn’t so much a riposte to Doug’s article, as it is an acknowledgment of it. It’s a confirmation that Doug’s article contained great points which forced me to re-examine my planning assumptions, but despite the challenge, my plan still passes scrutiny. It’s a healthy, Bayesian inference exercise that everyone should conduct with their plan routinely. Continue reading →

The Golden Albatross vs. The Insurance Industry (Part 2): Annuity Valuation Case Study

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Insurance Annuity Valuation Question

Annuity Valuation

What me worry?

A reader, whom I’ll call Lady J, recently asked me if I could value her future insurance annuity scenarios vs. her current cash-out value. She wanted an annuity valuation done in the same manner as the Pension Lump Sum Case Study I wrote for the Pension Series. The question intrigued me. My initial reaction was, yes, I could. Since a Defined Benefit Pension (DBP) is just another phrase for an annuity; I didn’t think it would prove too hard if she could provide the appropriate details. I told Lady J as much, and she promptly supplied me with details I needed.

Surprisingly, the annuity valuation proved both easier and harder than I initially thought. Easier in the sense that based on the numbers provided by Lady J, my Master Pension Value Calculator spit out an answer to her question in no time. Harder in the sense that once I reviewed the terms of her annuity policy, and the facts surrounding her initial investment, it forced me to ponder numerous “what if’s”. Thus, consider this article in two parts. First, I walk through the facts surrounding Lady J’s situation and the process of annuity valuation. Second, I address a few different issues, both good and bad, I noticed with this annuity. Continue reading →

The Golden Albatross vs. The Insurance Industry (Part 1): Fees

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What’s Your Opinion on Insurance Products?

Let me level with you up front: I don’t have a lot of experience with insurance products — especially the type that mirror investments. Prior to my experience related in the below story; the only other time I dealt with insurance investments was successfully extracting Mrs. Grumpus from one of the two products she invested in as a young worker in her home country. Up to now, I really hadn’t given them a lot of thought. As a result, I never held strong opinions about them in either direction. Maybe the most I ever felt was lucky for not getting involved with them — which I suppose is better than the regret I routinely express from other investment choices!

Of course, I’m not completely unaware of the arguments for and against such products. I hear them routinely denounced on several podcasts I listen to. Jill Schlesinger from “Jill on Money” is probably the most vocal, but certainly not the only one. The costs associated with such insurance “investment” products are often what draws the most negativity. Insurance sales people who push insurance products as a panacea to all money problems, is another issue that stirs emotion the wrong way.

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The Pension Series (Part 12): More Pension Lump Sum Analysis (Updated)

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Nerd Alert!

This article is a follow-up on the lump sum case study I conducted for the ChooseFI listener, Tess, in Part 11 of the Pension Series. If you missed it, that case study also aired as Episode 58R on the ChooseFI Podcast. I mentally debated if I should make this Part 11a considering the links between the two articles.  However, given this article’s length, and the alternate pension lump sum analysis method it outlines, I decided it warrants its own part in the series.

I’ll warn you now, this article is another deep dive into the world of pension lump sum offers. It won’t be my last either. Pension lump sum analysis is a rabbit hole. As I pointed out in my previous article, there’s no one correct method. A lot depends on what the pensioner values and the questions they are trying to answer. Proper analysis is also based on the strings attached to either the lump sum or the annuities.

pension lump sum analysis

Hello? Can anyone up there hear me? I got stuck down here analyzing my pension lump sum!

Fortunately, as a result of my appearance on ChooseFI 58R, several people reached out to discuss methods of calculating pension value and conducting lump sum analysis. We are currently in the process of compiling a spreadsheet with many of those methods baked in. It’s not quite ready though. So, for now, you have to put up with another wordy pension lump sum analysis from yours truly. Forewarned is forearmed. Continue reading →

Mental Health: Sad Work And Stuff

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I Am Grumpus Max-bob-bomb …

…and I am here to make you think about work and get sad and stuff.

Part of the side effects from my PTS means the wrong damn song, movie, book, or thought can be problematic from time to time. This happened recently. While I was typing an article about pensions and streaming some music, a sad song played over my headphones. That’s not always an issue, except I’d never heard this song before, so I didn’t know to skip it. The song’s subject related to one of the causes of my PTS. As a result, I scrambled for the volume control before tears erupted uncontrollably. Alas, I was too slow. As a result, I spent the next few hours trying to control the flood of emotions that washed over me.

Unlike my previous articles on my mental health and job struggles, this article isn’t about anger. It’s about sadness. In true Grumpus Maximus form though, the article is still relevant to the topics of personal finance, careers, and the Golden Albatross. Yet, much like my Worth vs. “Worth It” article, this story is raw and personal. Even more so than my previous article in fact. If that isn’t your thing, I completely understand and don’t hold it against you. Click away now.

For those who choose to stay, consider yourself warned… Continue reading →