FIRE in New Zealand: One Thing a Pension Cannot Buy

Here’s an imaginary conversation that’s been playing in my head recently:

- - Almost non-existent long-term reader: “Hey Grumpus, I noticed you haven’t posted any new articles in a while. Is everything OK?”
  - Grumpus: “Thanks for asking, but unfortunately, no, everything is not OK. I’ve been mourning a personal loss.”
  - Almost non-existent long-term reader: “Oh…I’m sorry for your loss. Who are you mourning?”
  - Grumpus:“Not who but what.”
  - Almost non-existent long-term reader: “OK … That’s strange … What are you mourning?”
  - Grumpus:“I’m mourning the death of my defined benefit pension-enabled Financial Independence Retire Early (FIRE) in New Zealand lifestyle. It died in October 2022, when I returned to full-time work.”
  - Almost non-existent long-term reader: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that! However, I’m afraid I must report you to the Internet Retirement Police (IRP) that Mr. Money Mustache talks about.”
  - Grumpus: “I understand. I’m now a FIRE imposter. Tell the IRP that I’ll go willingly.”

(Moments later, as the IRP is dragging a defeated Grumpus into the police van)

- - Grumpus: “My first attempt at a FIRE in New Zealand lifestyle is dead. LONG LIVE MY SECOND FIRE IN NEW ZEALAND LIFESTYLE!”

The End of a Short Era

You read that imaginary conversation correctly. My defined benefit pension-enabled FIRE in New Zealand lifestyle only lasted 1 year, 4 months, & 23 days. By FIRE in New Zealand lifestyle, I mean the time I spent in retirement with no GI Bill-sponsored or other full-time work-related income. During that time, my family and I lived in New Zealand, relying solely on the income from my Department of Defense and Veteran’s Administration (VA) pensions. I must admit, with a small amount of pride, we did an excellent job of staying under those spending limits.

Why, then, did I return to full-time work? I did it because a defined benefit (DB) pension cannot buy a New Zealand residence-class visa. And without a resident visa, an immigrant family like mine cannot FIRE in New Zealand. That’s not to say that money can’t buy residence in New Zealand because it most certainly can through an investor visa. However, in the post-pandemic New Zealand immigration system, that potential visa pathway was moved beyond my family’s ability to achieve. As a result, even though I’m guaranteed to earn the same inflation-protected amount of money each month until the day that I die, it wasn’t enough. I found myself at the uncomfortable crossroads of a return-to-work decision around September 2022. Continue reading →

The Military Retirement Process: Lessons Learned (Part 1)

Posted on 28-April-19 by Grumpus

For the Military Members in the Audience

When I first announced that I was officially retiring in 2019 via the blog and my Facebook group, the response was overwhelmingly positive. Amidst all those positive responses, Timika Downes, a fellow Financial Independence (FI) blogger, reservist, and FB group member asked me to share lessons I learned throughout the military retirement process. I was non-committal at the time because I had no idea if there would be anything worth sharing. However, now that I’m through the first phase of that process, I realize I have a few nuggets of information worth sharing — especially for military Financially Independent Retire Early (FIRE) seekers like me.

Admittedly some of my lessons are more or less relevant, based on what you want to do after the military. However, any military member contemplating either retirement or transition from Active Duty can take something away from what I’m about to share. Top among those takeaways is this: The Department of Defense (DOD); the Veteran’s Administration (VA); and many state, local, and benevolent organizations have put a lot of effort into ensuring that current active duty military members transition successfully to civilian life.

As a student of history, I’m well aware that the above takeaway was not always true. The VA, and the taxpayers who fund it, have failed to take care of U.S. vets on numerous occasions. As evidence, consider the string of VA scandals outlined by CNN in 2014. Continue reading →

GI(bill)arbitrage

Posted on 01-February-19 by Grumpus

Did You Catch What I Did There?

I’ve invented a new term. Or maybe it’s a word. What do you call a word with parens in the middle of it? Do the grammar police allow such nonsense? Probably not. When I run this article through Grammarly, I bet it will have a field day with this new word-term-thing I’ve created. In any case, the term is GI(bill)arbitrage.

As a play on words, it’s quite clever … if I do say so myself. You can’t see me, but right now I’m patting myself on the back. It gets more clever still, but the meaning becomes less obvious if you drop the (bill) part and just go with GIarbitrage. Sounds a lot like the now infamous term Geoarbitrage used so heavily within the Financial Independence (FI) community, doesn’t it? It should because it’s a direct riff on the meaning of that word. However, because I didn’t want people to confuse GIarbitrage with Gastro-Intestinal arbitrage (whatever that might be?), I stuck the (bill) part in the middle.

There I am patting myself. Do you like my yoga pants?

What’s the Point, Grumpus?

Did you know the GI Bill can be used to study overseas? Neither did I until a few weeks ago. More accurately put, I never thought to examine the idea until Mrs. Grumpus and I decided we might like to emigrate to New Zealand after I retire from the military. By that point (and I mean all of about six weeks ago), I had already decided to retire from the military without transferring my GI Bill to my kids. I had also decided I was going back to school to use the GI Bill myself. Continue reading →

Choices and Thankfulness

Posted on 23-November-18 by Grumpus

I’ll have you know that I do most the cooking on Thanksgiving in our house.

Happy Thanksgiving

“What are you thankful for this year?” is a commonly asked Thanksgiving question. It’s usually asked around dinner tables, which is where we Americans typically celebrate this holiday designed to bring us together and reflect on the bounty in our lives. In fact, Mrs. Grumpus and I asked our children the same question tonight as we ate.

Grumpus Minimus #1 (the older one) dutifully answered that he was thankful for his mom, dad, family, and friends. He then proceeded to list every single one of his friends. Grumpus Minimus #2 (the younger one) said he was thankful for Hickam Air Force Base, where he likes to go and watch Hawaiian airline’s planes land (Hickam AFB shares a flight line with the Honolulu airport). I bet no Air Force Base has ever been loved as much as GM#2 loves Hickam.

Continue reading →