Mental Health: Sad Work And Stuff

I Am Grumpus Max-bob-bomb …

…and I am here to make you think about work and get sad and stuff.

Part of the side effects from my PTS means the wrong damn song, movie, book, or thought can be problematic from time to time. This happened recently. While I was typing an article about pensions and streaming some music, a sad song played over my headphones. That’s not always an issue, except I’d never heard this song before, so I didn’t know to skip it. The song’s subject related to one of the causes of my PTS. As a result, I scrambled for the volume control before tears erupted uncontrollably. Alas, I was too slow. As a result, I spent the next few hours trying to control the flood of emotions that washed over me.

Unlike my previous articles on my mental health and job struggles, this article isn’t about anger. It’s about sadness. In true Grumpus Maximus form though, the article is still relevant to the topics of personal finance, careers, and the Golden Albatross. Yet, much like my Worth vs. “Worth It” article, this story is raw and personal. Even more so than my previous article in fact. If that isn’t your thing, I completely understand and don’t hold it against you. Click away now.

For those who choose to stay, consider yourself warned… Continue reading →

Work and Mental Health: Slaying the Dragon

Posted on 03-December-17 by Grumpus

Am I only one I know, waging my wars behind my face and above my throat?

— Twenty-One Pilots, Migraine

How Was Your Week?

Last Friday wasn’t the best day for me mentally. I don’t know if the stress of a few hectic work weeks which included a lot of travel finally caught up, or if I missed my meds the night before. Maybe it was both. Maybe it was something else entirely. Either way, I didn’t feel the most stable. I think it was fairly apparent to several of my co-workers as I lost my cool (just a wee bit) during a meeting. For a moment, it felt like the bureaucracy was going to grind my bones to grist before I could escape. As a result, several hours after the meeting the weight of the Golden Albatross still felt insurmountable. Never a good feeling.

It got me this week.

As one of my Facebook readers once wrote, “Some days you slay the dragon, some days the dragon slays you.” Friday the dragon slew me, and it caught me off guard. It’s been a while since I’ve experienced a day like it. In fact, it might be the first day in over a year that I’ve lost my cool in a work environment. Home is a different matter, and the typical battlefield where I struggle to keep these sort of emotions in check (which of course is worse, and a different story altogether). Losing it at work, on the other hand, is an anomaly. As a result, I wasn’t ready to handle it. Continue reading →

An Unintentional Meander Up Grumpy Avenue (Part 3)

Posted on 23-September-17 by Grumpus

It’s OK to Fail

Americans abhor failure, or so we’ve been led to believe. I joined the U.S. military in the late 1990s and can remember the Zero Defect Mentality the post-Cold War peace dividend bred into our military leaders. While I would like to think the longest-running armed conflict in U.S. history (Afghanistan), and the most controversial since Viet Nam (Iraq), bled our military leadership dry of the Zero Defect Mentality, I’ve watched it slowly creep back into prominence since 2010.

My current Commanding Officer (CO) is an exception to that trend. He uses a term to describe his willingness to accept failure: Recoverable Training Failure. It essentially means he allows people to learn from their mistakes, as long as those failures are recoverable (i.e. no one died or was seriously injured). He’d rather people fail in a training environment, take the hard lessons learned, apply them, and succeed operationally when it matters most. It’s a combat veteran’s mentality and is a good leadership philosophy in my opinion.

Continue reading →